Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. -Abraham Lincoln
Planning is all well and good, so long as you don't get stuck there. For an artist, there are things you plan, and the rest you find in your work. The last week of 2015 has been a difficult week spent away from painting, making marketing and business plans, and applying to art shows. Also spent with family and just cleaning out the studio to rid myself of the literal and figurative dust of 2015.
I feel an internal hourglass running out of sand every day not spent creating. Its an anxious itch that can only be scratched when I'm alone, using my hands to spread paint, drag lines across a surface, getting lost in a trancendental state of creation. Nothing else in life scratches this itch and nothing else is as important, except maybe finding the support to make this happen.
Time is precious. An artist needs time to create, time to research to find a place for her creations, find the people who will love her and her creations, and venues to bring the work and the lovers of it in union. I simply don't have any time to spare on anything else. So, a few weeks ago, I resigned from my full time teaching job to pursue art full time. My art was always getting what was left of me at the end of the school day until late at night when I had to return to my bed to prepare for another day of teaching and then late night painting. The cycle was making me an exhausted, unhappy, and cynical person.
The day I took the leap, I felt like I had taken an exhilarating leap from the top of a tall cliff. It was exhilarating. It was the most true to myself, I had felt in a very long time. That doesn't mean that I haven't had to battle doubts and fears in the weeks after resignation. Will I fail? Am I prepared? Will I have to give up my loft and move somewhere more affordable? What if my old car dies? It just didn't matter anymore. Nothing really mattered more than taking action on the dream I've carried for so long. It was now or never. The kindest thing I've ever done for myself was giving myself this chance. And there is no looking back now.
Friends, thank you for taking the time to read. I've resolved to post a new blog on the first day of every month for the year of 2016. This blog will document my first year as a full time artist, though technically, I will finish out the school year until May. After that, its all art, all the time! If you want to follow me on this journey, please join my mailing list, I'll shoot out a reminder to come read the blog on the first along with any shows I may be involved in for that month.
Thank you especially to those who have purchased art in 2015. You are the ones who have loved my creations as much as I have loved creating them. By taking them home with you, you've created space and afforded resources for new works to be made. Nothing is more important to me than that. So thank you again.